No worries (?)

Ahh. Gardening. I cannot say too much about the joys of gardening. For the first time in my life, I have my own backyard. Well, we do. Susie and me. That is, Susie and I. Dang you Kilpatrick! And I have been busy Dear Reader. I have. Rather than share one of the panoramic shots of the slightly eccentric flower/blueberry patch, I'd like to show you something a bit more...gruesome. On the deck I am creating a special garden. A carnivorous garden. Sarracenias and fly traps so far. A butterwort too. I forgot about the butterwort. Well, a house fly made the mistake of entering my space yesterday. A big mistake. I tracked him. (I just assumed it was a male because he obviously wasn't very bright). I tracked him with my electric fly zapper. Whoosh. Zap. He was stunned. While he was out cold, I picked him up with a tissue. (Flies are filthy disease-ridden things!) I took him out back and carefully placed him...well, see for yourself.
At first, there was nothing. Then a slight buzz and a quiver and snap. Not really a snap. More of a purposeful closing. Steady and firm. Let that be a lesson to you and your filthy friends. It was quite a rush for me too Dear Reader. I think Susie liked it as well. Like a junkie, I needed more! I had to have more. Just a little taste. So I went to a pet store and bought some crickets. I didn't make eye contact with the clerk. I didn't want him to see my shame. (Not really. It just sounded more, um, sleazy. Yes!) I wasn't going to feed all of the crickets to my Fly Traps at once. I did a bit of research and knew better than that. I set up a little cricket container at home with a little water and some potato. Fresh food on demand. I peered in at the little crickets. Who would be first? I just picked one at random, put her (equal time) in a little glass and inverted the glass on a bar of Blue Ice. The cricket became motionless after a few seconds. I picked it up by a splayed leg and went to the deck. I placed it neatly in a trap and waited. As the cricket thawed and began to quiv... Mmmm. I thought about how cool this will be when we have guests over. I thought about the Circle of Life. Hakuna matata. Unless you are a bug. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.