By several lengths

When I was a teenager, I did some stupid things. In fact, I sometimes still do dumb things. My son Paul, known to you Dear Reader as The Boy is a teenager, and it should not be surprising to hear that he too does stupid things from time to time. And from time to time. And from time to time. Last time he was here for a visit, his arm was wrapped. I asked about it and he told me the story of a grisly bicycle accident and the road rash on his arm. It was a good story. Pant leg caught in chain. Trip over handlebars. It had it all. From mise en scene through painful denouement. (As usual, I am dispensing with accent marks). My immediate inquiry, as many, if not most parental inquiries would be, was to ask if he was wearing a helmet. He said yes, and that was the end of it. Here's where one would expect a great big honkin' "or so I thought," right? Right. Or so I thought! The Boy's mother called me yesterday to tell me she was taking him into Urgent Care because he had, in fact, applied lye to his arm. You read correctly: lye, arm. There never was a bike accident. We do not yet know whether he will require skin grafts, or whatever other treatment(s) may be involved. I am a bit grateful that it was something like this that landed him in Urgent Care, and not, say, a drug overdose. He will have a visual reminder of this single act of utter stupidity...forever. There is no infection, or any other complicating factor. He took excellent care of the wound. He was quite proud to report that to me, to which I responded with sarcasm. "What do you want, a f***ing merit badge?" We all do stupid things at some time or other in our lives. Teenagers do so with a bit more frequency. But this? We may have a winner.